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How to Pick Your Housemates

By Helen Wilkinson

You know what they say: you can’t choose your family but you can choose your mates. More specifically, your housemates.
You know how it is: it’s first year and you’ve been chucked together with strangers by university admin, which can turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing, but now comes the time to think about who you would actually want to live with.
As a seasoned second year let me share with you a few things to think about when choosing your housemates.
Here follows my list of personalities you’re likely to come across when picking your housemates. I’ll let you decide for yourself who you think you could live with…


Despite what the name suggest, they are not mini people living under your floorboards (I wish…) The Borrowers will ‘borrow’ everything and anything: money, cutlery, food – you name it.
If you’re a person who likes to keep all their possessions close and watches their money carefully it’s probably best you avoid The Borrowers. Oh, and when I say ‘borrow’ I mean ‘take and never see again’. Though the ‘take-and-never-see-againers’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it…

The Borrowers


He’s so cool. He’s in his room playing guitar hero (on full blast) while listening to Metallica (on full blast) while his friend rocks out on the bass guitar (you guessed it: on full blast). Niceeeeee man. Not so nice if you’re living in the room next door and trying to revise for an exam the next day. Or a fan of classical music.

Rock God

What it says on the tin really. It’s all well and good going out now and again but the party animal is always out. Every night! And you’ll know when they’ve been out. It’s 4am and they’re in the kitchen trying to make a snack. Only they can’t walk in the straight line so plates are being broken, a lot of swearing can be heard and the inevitable fire alarm. There’s also a severe danger of finding vomit around the house the next morning. Not the best thing to wake up to…

The Party Animal


The Grouch​​

You know ‘The Grouch’. Green fella? Lives in a bin? That’s the one. You’ll find most uni houses have at least one grouch. Unsurprisingly  they tend to be male.
Grouches will leave their dirty washing up for months on end until plants start to grow. They will also fail to do their share of bin emptying and other simple household tasks. This is fine for the Grouch because the Grouch enjoys living in a bin.
However, if you’re partial to a slightly cleaner environment, the Grouch will be a nightmare for you. You’ll probably be the one washing their dirty plates and cleaning up the pasta sauce they spilt on the floor. If you’re a hygiene nut avoid the Grouch at all costs.
But, most importantly, just make sure you all get along! A peaceful house is a happy house. And sure, the odd argument will inevitably arise but the key to living in harmony is to respect each other. So, make the most of it because before you know it it’ll be summer and you’ll be back with the parents.